pssst... hey Maddie.....

Dear Maddie,

While you're in surgery, I think it's as good as time as any for me to share some secret advice. You might not know it now, but you're getting a golden trump card. "What's this?" you ask.

Here's how it works. For example, let's suppose you want a pony. So you'll say to Mom and Dad: "Mommy and Daddy, I would very much like to have a pony and I remember that you let Josie have a goldfish one time. So, can I have a pony one time?"

Now, your parents will reply "no". And they'll try to be reasonable about it, and they'll decline without actually saying no. In fact, they'll probably say something like: "Oh, Maddie, it's so sweet that you want a pony, but where would it sleep? I don't think a pony can sleep in your room because it can't climb the steps, and we don't live in a house that can have a pony." See, they'll be tricky.

But you, my darling, you will have a special trick. All you've got to do is point to your belly when you ask for a pony. In this case I think you're Mom and Dad will say: "What's this you want sweetheart, a pony? Oh, sure thing. What a great idea. We've been wanting to do something with the playhouse in the backyard and your idea of converting it into a barn for a pony sounds like a great idea." See, you're golden.

But you can only do this very rarely -- otherwise you're parents might get wise to your strategy. Use this for big events only, like when you want a new car as a college graduation present. Or when you want a $12,000 Vera Wang wedding dress. ;-)

Also, while I've been writing this, your Aunt Lauren has actually been doing something more productive in making lots and lots of food for your parents and sister and grandparents.

I love you sweetie,
Uncle Joe

p.s. Don't be tricked if your parents try to deflect your pony request. For example, don't believe them when they say, "Oh Maddie, I think we should ask Uncle Joey if he'll get a pony for you and build a barn in his backyard for your pony." This won't work because I don't have a playhouse that I can convert into a backyard barn like your Mom and Dad have. Plus, I'll know what you're up to because we already talked about it.

p.p.s. Dear Maddie, this is Aunt Lauren. Don't listen to any of Uncle Joey's advice, for he is very, very naughty!